Depression - Not a shame

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a common medical problem. Many people avoid revealing their mental illness due to social stigma. People often hide their mental illness and suffer through it; which can lead to deterioration in their physical health as well.
There are many types of mental illness. Most common types are:

• Clinical depression 
• Anxiety disorder 
• Bipolar disorder 
• Post traumatic stress disorder 
• Obsessive compulsive disorder 

Most common mental illness worldwide is DEPRESSION. In common terms, it is a state of long-lasting low mood. We all, at some point of time, feel sad, moody or low. However, if it extends to weeks, months or years; it becomes a concerning issue. Depression is NOT usual mood fluctuations and short-lived emotional responses to challenges in daily life. It is rather long lasting with moderate or severe intensity.
Generally, people misunderstand sadness with depression. According to American Psychiatric Association,
Death of loved ones, unemployment or ending of relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response. Both, grief and depression have intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. Yet, they are different:

• In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks. 
• In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common. 
• For some people, the death of a loved one can bring on major depression. Losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression for some people.  

Depression can be mainly caused due to genetics, personality or environmental factors. Depression can run in families. People who easily get conquered by stress or has low self-esteem and carry pessimistic attitude are more likely to be depressed. Continuous violence, physical or mental abuse, neglect, poverty or unemployment can lead to depression. Even children or teenagers suffer through depression. The main reason for that is unequal parental treatment of siblings. Research states that homosexual people (i.e. LGBT community) are more affected by depression.

Sleep issues on an almost daily basis, changes in appetite and weight, decrease in energy or fatigue almost every day, difficulty in concentration, decision making, clear thinking, poor functioning or recurrent thoughts of suicide or attempt to suicide and so on, are basic symptoms of depression.

As per World Health Organization (WHO),

• Globally, more than 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression 
• More women are affected by depression than men 
• Although there are known, effective treatments for depression, fewer than half of those affected in the world (in many countries, fewer than 10%) receive such treatments.

Barriers to effective care include a lack of resources, lack of trained health-care providers, and social stigma associated with mental disorders. Another barrier to effective care is inaccurate assessment. In countries of all income levels, people who are depressed are often not correctly diagnosed, and others who do not have the disorder are too often misdiagnosed and prescribed antidepressants.

There are number of things people can do to reduce symptoms of depression. Regular exercise can help building positive feelings and thereby, mood can be improved. Consuming healthy diet and getting enough QUALITY sleep on regular basis can reduce symptoms of depression.

Even in 21st century, many countries have not abandoned the social stigmas related to depression, leading to suicide. People hesitate in discussing their mental problems. Many backward countries, still don’t value psychiatrists and psychologists. Whilst, depression can be cured mainly by their consultations. Those affected, further opt for suicide. Their surroundings make depression even worse.

If you or your friend is suffering from depression, then your first step should be consulting a psychiatrist or psychologist. There is NO SHAME in taking medication to manage your depression. People routinely take medication for physical ailments and a mental illness isn’t any different!

Lost Journalism

THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW!!!! What’s important for INDIAN MEDIA!?- TRUTH OR TRP.
Congratulations after seven long decades of independence, we have finally raised our voices. But that’s not the end, our voices need Right Words and Right Platforms, and therefore it’s Time when Indian Media take charge as the FACE of the Biggest Democracy of the World.
There are 4 pillars of democracy:
1. Judiciary
2. Executive
3. Legislature
4. Media
This fourth pillar-Media, makes sure that there is transparency and ethical functioning in all other 3 systems.
Highest power has been vested to the citizens of India for country’s betterment, followed by media. Media has the power to question government, to make people aware of surroundings, to fight against injustice, to work for uplift of society and what not. The shocking fact is that this great power is either being misused or unutilized!
Media was developed to fight for citizens and their human rights. But, today news channels are fighting for the sake of TRP and huge profits. They just want to attract viewers and get highest TRP. Oftentimes, news channels manipulate news or just show partial news.
• Example, In 2015, Patidar riots in Gujarat, drew attention of entire country. In one of the riots in Ahmedabad, Gujarat, the Patidar members attacked police stations and set them on fire which resulted in many injuries to many policemen. As a reaction, police force started beating them. And there comes the media… Media focused on how policemen ill-treated Patidar members. They showed how cruel our police department is! But they didn’t cover how many policemen were injured, severely injured. Everyone started blaming police department. Those policemen were on their duty and performing it. The fault was of Patidar members who were irresponsible citizens fighting for some stupid reservations even at the cost of our protectors. Was it really necessary to show news in this way? What if instead of police station your house was set on fire and instead of police it was you or your family member?
There are times when media gets obsessed with celebrities. They would do anything and everything to know who is dating or getting divorced or got pregnant. They will hunt down what Taimur and Yash played at a party. But hardly anyone will get to the roots of any scam or will show us hell situations of farmers or arm forces. They don’t show us how families of farmers or arm forces are managing to live. Even if any news channel shows us productive news, then it won’t get TRP or high number of viewers because we, the citizens, are more interested in knowing what Misha Kapoor is doing nowadays rather than knowing, would there be bright future of children of arm forces.
Even when serious crime news are shown, the victim is focused and disturbed by asking futile questions. For example, if there is any news on rape, then the victim is focused on main screen but the criminal is shown on side bars. And then the non sense debate of shouting and blaming what was girl wearing or doing at that time will start!!
Probably, every citizen currently knows about Priya Prakash Varrier but hardly 10% people would know about recent helicopter crash. Two Wing Commanders of the Indian Air Force were killed after a microlight helicopter crashed in Assam’s Majuli Island on 15th February, 2018. This crash was due to technical reasons. This shows how vulnerable our defense department is and it is very dangerous. This is where media is absent.
Moreover, only negative news are given importance by media. Positive ones are neglected. Media shows us just the negative side of society making people pessimist. They show crimes and bad deeds on screen and exaggerate one single bad thing which depletes society’s trust. Rather, they can even focus on positive side of society such as social helpers or innovators. However, even here we, the citizens, does not want to know about the development of society but we are more eager to know who is the winner of Big Boss.
Even in the newspapers, many times winning or losing of Indian cricket team becomes headlines. It’s good that we encourage them to play better for country. But headlines are just about cricket. If other Indian sports team wins any title then they are simply places in sports column.
Always remember that we, the citizens, have highest power to do best or worst for the country. It’s not just media. If the citizens start viewing real news then, that will encourage every media to show real and productive news. Or even, if all media altogether starts showing real news then citizens may initiate taking interest in development of country.

Menstruation - Part 1 The one with logics and reasons

Ever had periods??? NO?.. Then you don't know that a month has only 25 easy days.. Rest days are quite painful and humiliating. Surprisingly, Indian society don't discuss sensitive issues related to menstruation and pregnancy, still we are the fastest growing population in the world. Even in this Era, it's a bitter fact that some negative thoughts are leaking through some negative minds of our society, it needs to be padded soon.
When a girl child is born in India, she is said to be an avatar of Laxmi Goddess. So I am not wrong if I say that I belong to the country where people worship woman as a Goddess but on the other hand women are humiliated on the name of menstruation.
People tend to follow the old rules blindly. They don’t try to analyse or find out the origin or cause of the rule but just follow them blindly without using their brains. Menstruation is the process of discharging blood from the vagina through uterus. It is also known as period or monthly. It occurs at intervals of about one lunar month from puberty until menopause, except during pregnancy.
Many societies believe that a woman is impure during her period. On that basis, people don’t treat her properly. She is humiliated many times, plus she has to live apart from her family during menstruation. There are many restrictions for her to follow.
Generally, all across the India, there are some common menstruating rules. Example, she cannot enter a temple, she cannot cook or touch the food, she cannot have her food sitting with others, she cannot water the plants, she cannot touch the pickle, she has to live separately from other family members, etc. All these rules are not followed with proper logic and people have taken it all the way wrong. Every rule made up in earlier times has some logic attached to it. Some rules are still effective while some have no meaning to exist but still prevails.
I came across this article where I did find many interesting and positive facts and logics behind these rules:
• There is a temple named Devipuram (dedicated to Devi) in Andhra Pradesh where women are allowed to enter into the temple even when they are menstruating. Shri Amritananda Natha Saraswati (Guruji), founder of this temple gave the reason why menstruating women do not visit temple :
            '' What is pure, we don’t touch. A menstruating woman is so pure that she is worshipped as a goddess. She is a living goddess at that time. The energy of the God or Goddess in the murti (idol) will move to her and that idol becomes lifeless, while the menstruating woman is life. It has nothing to do with a woman being impure.'' It’s entirely opposite of what society believes.
• Before menstruation, a woman gatheres the energy in her in order to prepare for pregnancy. However, when pregnancy does not occur, the energy starts flowing out of the body (during menstruation). While eating, people exhale negative energy and the menstruating woman who is energy sensitive, absorbs those energies. So if she is sitting in a group of people to eat she may or may not absorb the negative energy. And that is the reason why woman don’t eat with others during menstruating. Moreover, they avoid cooking because they need rest due to blood loss.
• At many places, women lives in secluded huts during menstruation. They provide the reason that their own homes are too small for them to maintain privacy, so they live in these huts where they can even rest.
• In Kashmir Hindu Culture, menstruating woman are given special care considering the belief that they become weak due to blood loss. They do not consider them to be impure and rules like, a woman on her period cannot visit temples or cannot work do not apply.
• In Manipur, when a girl bleeds for first time, the cloth in which she bleeds is kept aside safely and is gifted back to her when she gets married. It is believed that the cloth is too powerful thay it can protect the girl and her family from poor health and other ills.
• There is another traditional practice in Manipur, where the girl tastes a drop of first menstrual blood. It is said that this blood is powerful and it helps in maintaining good health.
• On the contrary, in Jarkhand, if people find the blooded cloth of a woman, they consider her as a witch or cursed. Thereafter, she is murdered and all her property is taken away.
• In Karnataka, a Tulu festival named Keddasa is celebrated in the month of January or February for 3 days. It is the beginning of Mother Earth’s fertility cycle which is equal to the female fertility cycle. They don’t disturb Mother Earth and she is given rest for 3 days and no farming is done during those 3 days. On the 4th day, some oil and turmeric is sprinkled on the Earth and the process of sowing seed begin. The same practice prevails in Punjab too.
• In the temples, Bhagwati in Chengannur (Kerala) and Kamakhaya Devi (Assam), it is believed that even the Goddess menstruate and thus, the temple is closed for 3 days. After 3 days, they celebrate the end of menstruation. The menstrual cloth is considered as highly auspicious and is distributed among devotees!!
So if these rules were made taking into mind that a menstruating woman is impure or she is a witch or just to restraint woman kind, then the same would not be done with the Goddess. Menstruation is a natural body cleansing process. It helps woman to maintain good health. There is no need to exaggerate the rules in negative way.
I am not saying that all women should follow all the rules. In fact, women is not untouchable during her period. She is not required to live isolated. She can enter the temple if she wants. She can do any other thing she wishes to. My aim was just to provide logical reasons through this writing.
Women should be treated with respect and her utmost care should be taken during menstruation because women are not impure but are the Goddess.

Virginity test - Something more than Seven Vows

Are you virgin? Think twice and thrice. You might need to take a test!!! Just ask the question everyone you know.
At many places in India virginity test is going on and results are declared in public. Above all, if the results are negative then the sex object is rejected.
Virginity is defined in many different ways but generally it can be summed up saying, A virgin is someone who never had sex. It is believed that a girl is virgin if during sexual intercourse she bleeds. This bleeding is the result of breakage or rapture of the hymen during penis-vagina sex. In brief, hymen is a thin fold of mucus tissue located 1-2 cm inside the vaginal opening that surrounds or may even completely cover the opening. While sex, if the hymen breaks and woman bleeds, then the woman PASSES the virginity test. However, if the hymen does not break, she FAILS the virginity test.
Now looking at this from medical point of view, it is possible that the hymen may rapture during the first time of sex. But less than 50% of women do not bleed the first time they have sex. Doctors say that many activities other than sex can torn the hymen, Example, cycling, horse riding, physical exercises, etc. In some cases, the hymen is too intact to be broken. On the contrary,  a girl may born entirely without a hymen. Therefore, whether the hymen is torn or intact, it cannot be provided as a proof of a female being virgin.
Now the issue arises, when the female doesn't bleed on their first night after marriage. In common scenario, straight their character is questioned and they face hardship all throughout their life. Her in laws and society abandon her. To avoid this bride's parents are required to compensate her in laws by offering gold, money, property, etc.
This matter has been covered by a few news channels and journalists but were not able to draw attention as the Indian public wants masala in the news.
A case of virginity test was covered by Indian Express :-
A group of youths from Kanjarbhat community have come together to protest against this practice carried on by caste panchayat. This protest was initiated by Vivek Tamaichekar, a masters student at the Tata Institute of Social Science (Mumbai) who created a whatsapp group named 'Stop the V ritual' (where V stands for virginity). His sister, Priyanka Tamaichekar is also an active member.
As per reports of the Indian Express, the process involves the groom and bride to have sex on white sheets while members of the panchayat sit outside.
'' If the groom comes out with a bedsheet with the blood stains on it, the bride passes the test. But if bedsheet has no stains, the panchayat members accuse the bride of having physical relationship with a man in the past. '' - - - Priyanka to the Indian Express.
The bride is even beaten or harassed if she fails. When the complains are made to the police against panchayat, they are said that it is a personal issue and they can't look into the matter.
Another case of Chittorgarh, Rajasthan covered by Headlines Today :-
Girls in here are made to consummate with their husbands immediately after marriage to check their virginity. When the locals were asked if this practice is appropriate; just one female stood against the practice while others felt that it was okay for woman to give virginity test. Panchayat even said that only females have to take this test and not the males. In fact, in one of the marriages, the groom said that he had sex before marriage with someone else but he cannot accept his wife as she failed the test. When brides fail the test, her family has to compensate the groom's family to accept the impure bride.

This test violates the human rights. It degrades the society and shows the double standards of our society. It dishonors the dignity and pride of women. People following this practice need to respect the women and treat her with honor. 

Marital Rape

'Rape' is the term that all people are aware of. But 'Marital Rape'.... A few people knows what it is! Marital rape is a type of sexual assault which involves sexual intercourse within marriage against a spouse without his/her consent. It is a kind of domestic violence. Many societies or international institutions have considered it wrong and a crime.

It is  a bitter fact that Indian society is not yet able to accept the concept of marital rape. India is still a male-dominating society where women are taught to do whatever men says since childhood. Women have been trained to fulfill their duties towards their spouses and are not allowed to say NO because to say '' NO'' to her spouse is equal to a sin. In nutshell, women are guided of how to become a puppet of their future husband.

In India, males think that marriage gives them the license and right on their wives body. The consent of their wife doesn't matter to them. They believe that once they are married their wives are obliged to them and to do as they are asked for. They don't care whether the female body is in a state to have sex. When a men are not just in a mood for sex they say NO but if women says NO, then there comes the epic reply '' Then why did you marry? You should have stayed at your parent's home if you don't want to have sex. ''

The UN Population Fund states that more than 2/3rd of married women in India aged between 15-49 have been beaten, raped or forced to provide sex. In 2005, 6787 cases were recorded of women murdered by their husbands or their in-laws. And still Indian laws do not consider marital rape as a crime. In fact, 56% of Indian women believed occasional wife-beating to be justified.

Families doesn't support their daughters in case she goes against her husband and in-laws. Indian society do not accept her as ''sanskari''. Women need to understand that they can say NO for any reason : whether it be her periods or illness or it's just that she don't want to have sex. Also Indian laws need to understand the sensitivity of the concept. It should be put in as a criminal act. It can save many wives from becoming a victim of marital rape, whether she be a working woman or a home-maker.

MARRIAGE IS NOT A LICENSE TO SEX OR RIGHT ON FEMALE BODY.